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He must have heard it, cause he looked at me and grinned."So, you want to see my big one huh?" he asked as he walked over to one of the coolers on the floor. As I walked over to him I said, "That's not all I want to see and you know it." My bluntness caught him off guard and he chuckled. "Well, get over here and take a look at this and we'll see what else you get a look at."I walked over to the cooler he was holding open. I looked in and saw that there was a nice sized fish inside that took up. I did a lot of research, and eventually arrived at a plan that I was comfortable with. I did not consult a doctor, and, looking back, probably should have, but I got where I wanted to go, and therefore have no regrets. Hormones are not magic. They take time to work. While I settled in to wait for changes to take place I began letting my hair grow and continued to diet. Eventually I got all the way down to 145 pounds on my 5'10" frame. I knew then that I needed to work on my appearance,. We pass the hall and stop in front of another door where my girlfriend knocks. After a few seconds the door opens. The room behind is totally dark, only in the middle is a bench on a stage lit by a spot light. I can see nothing but the stage, but I can feel that we are not alone. In background I hear some erotic music, while my girlfriend leads me to that stage. She takes of my dress and walks around the bench with me one time. Then she positions behind me and removes the corsage. She massages. Just like several months ago, I had to make a decision and once more, there were two options. Option one, was to keep the child and start a real family with Ilse. It would bring many responsibilities and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. Option two, would be the safest route, abort the fetus, and continue our relationship as before. We could always make a baby later, when we knew I was ready.So many emotions washed over me, doubt, wonder, love, sadness. I wasn’t sure what to make of it.
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